Place: Mayfair Market in the fresh juice section
Celeb: Nina Hartley (Warning: adult content)



Trying to buy some Odwalla juice and realizing that some insidious Republican plot to stamp out the progressive Odwalla brand (nectar of tie-dye wearing leftists everywhere) has finally taken hold. I only see "Nature's Best" brand now. I ask a clerk for Odwalla and the lad thinks I'm speaking Swahili or something. He's never heard of it and even though I know they used to carry it last year, claims they've never carried any other fresh juice brand but "Nature's Best". Dee-dee, dee-dee, dee-dee, dee-dee, duhhh-duhhhn-duhhndunt. I'm clearly in the Twilight Zone.

Anyway, after staring for some time at the juice section, I blonde woman steps near me to check out the pre-packaged fruit in plastic containers. Then a voice behind me asks the blonde, "Excuse me, where did you get that bag"? The voice belongs to Nina Hartley, the "sex positive" porn celebrity. She's dressed somewhat formally with a head scarf and dark glasses and accompanied by a burly, bald man with a pin striped suit. They look like something out of an old speakeasy era saloon. Wow, my first adult industry celeb.